I finally convinced my mother to cancel her AOL Dial-Up account. It has been a tug-o-war since 2000.

You see, by the time I had graduated from high school and been accepted to USC (Go Trojans!) under early admittance, I had already hacked into several small networks using AOL Dial-Up. “Security” wasn’t an issue back then. No one had a strong “secure” schema for “security”. *shrug*

So when I arrived at USC (Go Trojans!), and I was able to tap into a T1… I thought I was the hot heifer on the skreet (not “street”). And AOL Dial-Up was a red headed step-bastard…in other words, NOT POSSIBLE – NOT AN OPTION (N.O.).

I was bougie now. AOL Dial-Up? Psht. Pligga Neez.

However, it was good enough for her. She had a good government secure high-speed network on base everyday. She wasn’t concerned about having it at home too. If SHE was happy. I was happy. I mean, I didn’t go home as often anymore…but she was happy.

Fast forward to 2010…

Mom wants a new laptop.

The bargain: I’ll give you ONE OF THESE *holding up one of my 1 year old Gateway Laptops* … the day you cancel AOL Dial-Up.

My life hasn’t been the same since.

After countless text messages and email messages, it became MY job to power cycle through AOL’s chain of 800 #s to hit their India based cancellation crew.

If I had received one more “Did you call yet?” text message, I was going to plan an attack on AOL over a V.92 56k bit rate modem.

I mean, how did it become MY job to cancel something I been telling her to cancel for YEARS because SHE wants one of MY laptops? I’d been #swindled.

What took 14+ years to deal with, took 5 minutes to diminish.

Interesting how shed been paying $34.99 per month for 14 years and it took our calling in for them to offer her a “New Great Rate” of $4.99 per month.

*middle finger to AOL*

Dear AOL, I hate your face.

Kick Rocks Barefoot, Courtney